I have discovered a whole new way to annoy Judy… And its all thanks to technology.
I have an iPod Touch that now allows me to add applications to it. Applications such as Apples Remote for iTunes. This combined with my 6 year old laptop (well actually we just celebrated its 7th birthday) opens all sorts of possible ways to annoy.
My Favorite: waiting in the car for my lovely wife, open up Remote, select Jack Johnson’s “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing” and repeatedly click it to 26 seconds where we hear the line “Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?” (And she couldn’t understand why I was so excited about getting this application.)
The first time this made her laugh so hard that she had to run to the bathroom before peeing her pants. Each consecutive time
resulted in getting a sterner version of the “look” that most men are all too familiar with.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Abortion, Baby, Divorce, Emotions, Empathy, Imagine, Marriage, pregnant
I don’t have much. I have a vivid imagination, but I can’t get my emotions to follow very well. When something bad or good happens to someone, I can imagine how I would react to the emotions I would be having but I just can’t seem to imagine the actual emotions.
When people used to tell me they were getting married or divorced, I knew how to react appropriately, but I couldn’t imagine how they were feeling. Then I got married, and the joy and pain of marriage became very personal. I could imagine how a coupe could get to the point of wanting a divorce (not that I’ve ever felt that way, darling). I could understand their pain, but I could also realized the great damage it would cause to get divorced.
Its been much the same with abortion. I knew that it was wrong; I could make the logical connections why it was life inside the womb, but I couldn’t begin to imagine what it felt like to be the protector of an unborn child. Then Judy got herself pregnant. Well, I may have helped… And now I would lay my life down to protect that tiny little life that so many say has none.
Every week I read about the new amazing things that are happening to my unborn child. Miraculous things like eyelids fingernails and hiccups. I even read that it actually looks like a human being now, just really, really, small.
So any of you who didn’t know, Judy and I are having a baby. Right now its 12 weeks and has a beautiful 160bpm heartbeat.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I was just reading in Matthew 19 when I came to verse 10 and something stuck me (not physically).
Jesus was teaching on marriage and divorce while being tested by the Pharisees. Nothing struck me as out of the ordinary, I’ve read these verses before, the story was familiar. But then right after Jesus said, except for unfaithfulness divorce was wrong. the disciples chime in with “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” I couldn’t help but think of our societies current attitude on marriage. Now, back then disciples were dealing with arranged marriages and such… But isn’t it just like a man to say, well I’m not getting married if I can’t just send her to the curb when I feel like it? Jesus’ response: “The one who can accept this should accept it.”
If you can’t accept the commitment of marriage, then don’t do it. I can’t speak to everyone situations, but I truly believe that God can make our marriages Holy despite the circumstances they were born from. Judy is, after-all, still married to me.
So what did you do for memorial day?
I, of course, spent my day in a completely appropriate way to remember the men and women who have given their lives for our country…
I spent most of it in bed. Got “up” at about 10 but as implied by my “quotes” I didn’t exactly get up. I just made my way to the couch for a couple more hours. Feeling the need to… move, I started Judy on the long road to getting ready and jumped in the shower. We drove around aimlessly with no direction or destination (we couldn’t even play our game because we couldn’t remember the rules. We found ourselves at a dollar store in the Mint Hill area, to get drinks. I took the opportunity to look a $1 toy that I could annoy Judy with. Just as I reached for the perfect trinket (a cap gun) she smacked me in the arm (as the abusive often do) and knocked the Gatorade out of my hand; it then proceeded to burst open all over the floor.
Now this is the interesting part, it should tell you a lot about both of us..
I stood there with a blank look on my face as I watched more and more Gatorade gush forth until I finally busted out with cramp giving laughter.
Judy, also with a blank look, shook it off and ran away yelling to the clerk that her husband just made a huge mess on the floor.
And how did I finish the day? Back on the couch french tipping my wife’s fingernails.
Don’t you judge me.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blame, game, how you play, play, process, too far, win or lose
It’s not whether you win or lose, its how you play the game.
That’s a very stupid way of saying a very sound biblical principle. I always hated that saying because a game, unlike life, is built around the very premise of being the winner. And therein lies my problem.
Typically I love the process. I love the situations that life puts us in; its usually quite funny and the worse the situation, the better the story for later. But when it comes to games, I tend to skip the process and just get it done. You see, I’m THAT guy. The guy that just takes it a step too far. Not long ago, the Elevation staff were in the airport playing airport bingo. Instead of enjoying playing, I prodded, contrived did whatever I needed to in order to complete the board as quick as possible. And I got bingo pretty darn quick. But it was an empty victory. The game was designed to be a fun diversion to take up our time while waiting for our airplane. It took me about 5 minutes.
That’s why I like team games. A team keeps me in check. When I pull a prank, I try to include as many people as possible to make sure I’m not taking it way too far (and maybe to spread the blame around a bit). And those victories are much less shallow because you have other people to celebrate with.
Ladies and Gentlemen… I have liberated Jessi Welch from the slavery known as the PC.
It wasn’t an easy battle, there was a great fight, but I have given to poor soul a whole new life known as mac.
I tried to let her help herself but she was so tied to the bondage windows had on her she could not see that I was holding out a hand of freedom that she so very desperately needed. So I stole her PC and moved all of her files to the macbook. There was much anger, maybe some tears, but I am proud to say that she is saved. Even this day, a mere two days later she has already been lifted high in the clouds amazed at how different her world has become.
Will I ever get thanked, no. Are my methods a bit sketchy, yes. Are my motives pure of heart, absolutely. I think there was a legend of a man such as I… I think his name was Robin Hood.
Oh and by the way, you’re welcome.
It really has been my intention to write much more often then I have been… Unfortunately I have been unable to think of anything humorous and lacking completely in depth. Everything in my life has been a little too serious as of late.
If you are at the stage where you are sorta cracking a smile hoping that this is in some way funny, and that I’m about to give you something… it’s not coming.
That does make me think of how nice of a guy I am…
Have you ever been listening to or watching someone and they are making a fool of themselves? I mean like something so totally awkward that you feel sorry or even sick for the guy. Well… this is why I’m nice. Because in these moments I almost always start cracking a smile. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and get ready for what surely is about to be a punch line, cause that is incredibly horrible.
I told you I was nice.
It appears that I have been misinformed.
I don’t know why Ryan would lie to me like that, maybe he is just desperate for attention… I don’t know. In the future, I will be sure to make sure I have a more reliable source for information.
For the record, Meredith is not pregnant and Ryan is NOT engaged. I just can’t believe the lies.
I think you should all go to Ryan’s Blog and let him know that his lies were completely inappropriate.
Once again, I apologize for letting such lies propagate.
